do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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