found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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