I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
