I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
