at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
