I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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