i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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