Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize