i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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