Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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