I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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