I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize