my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
