I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
