Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
