Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
