i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
