I'm really into asian looking animals
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
babies were throwing up all over the place
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
