All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
