you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize