Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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