No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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