That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
