dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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