you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
