Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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