and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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