Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
