im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
im holly from the hills drunk
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
