I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
