I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
