i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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