Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
