My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
