Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
