he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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