I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
