I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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