i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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