but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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