Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
