there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
kristin has been a bad kristin
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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