She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
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I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We had sex on a dog bed..
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The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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