dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
