You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
