My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
