You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
