I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
