we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
