4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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