All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
