I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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