im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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