The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
