We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
