yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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