remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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