my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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