In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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